Ignorant fools
What's this?
NUDGE 1, 2
Ha! Demons
Now I understand the Bishop's interest
Mom
What are you doing? Why don't you come and visit?
I've found it, Mother. I'll be there soon
You always say that. Then you show up and spend 5 minutes
If you'd only give me a grandchild.
Mother, I'm a priest
It's always the same, you and your religion
It's not a matter of religion, it's a matter of faith.
Faith? Your father and I had faith in the republic and look what happened
If he was alive, he'd be turning in his grave!
Ohhh!! My Jacinto
Mother, I'll come and visit as soon as I get back.
My only son, and he had to be a priest
Come on, Herminia, don't upset yourself. Your heart can't take it.
He's a priest. His father and I were communists and he turned priest.
Don't be silly. You're in a very delicate condition.
Now, drink some water and watch the TV.
You need some distraction.
The box again. Sod that!
THE WEEKLY REPORT
No artiste has ever enjoyed a more devoted audience
and better reviews than Trini, the incomparable flamenco dancer from Andalusia.
Her artistic career has been marked by success, passion
and tragedy. And this is her story
As a girl, María Trinidad de la Cruz was discovered in this
legendary venue by MANOLO, a theatrical agent,
who has remained by her side since then.
She's a rough diamond.
And don't tell me she isn't the most beautiful woman in Spain.
She has Duende.
And what is Duende? It's something much stronger than you. ¡Eah!
Trini had one hit after another; her fame was unstoppable!
She was hailed at home and abroad.
She's booked up till 2016.
And at the height of her success came the great news:
THEY'RE GETTING MARRIED!
The wedding between Gregorio, the greatest bullfighter of all time
and Spain's best-loved flamenco dancer was the story of the year.
Their short romance was kept a complete secret;
it took even their closest friends by surprise
When's the wedding?
She's getting married? Who to? I would have heard
A flamenco dancer? And my Gregorio?
The wedding was held in Trini's native Andalusia.
The public could scarcely contain their joy.
Viva Trini!
And Gregorio!
The bishop himself officiated at the wedding.
A good honest-to-God straight couple.
Their careers could not have been going any better.
Trini was a huge hit everywhere and the matador
rarely left the arena with anything short of two ears and a tail.
But just then, Trini was forced to put her career on hold.
UP THE DUFF!
Pregnant?
I would have heard!
My grandson will be the most famous child in Spain!
After 6 hours in labour, at 6 pm Trini was delivered of
a beautiful baby boy weighing 6 kilos.
For the first few months, the happy couple
lavished attention on little Damian.
Their happy home was filled with toys, games and laughter.
The boy had a happy infancy and soon Trini was back on the stage
with greater success than ever. She invented the
earthquake, the ultimate in extreme flamenco
Nobody has ever managed to imitate her.
Gregorio, over here!
Now I dance for my little boy. You'll see what a mother's love is capable of.
Gregorio, is Damian your son?
That's nothing. You'll go far further
Tokyo, Paris, London, Pamplona... the great cities of the world fell at her feet
But then, just days before her son's first communion,
tragedy struck.
With regret to report the death
of the great matador Gregorio in a domestic accident.
All of Spain is overcome by grief.
Messages of condolence flood in
from every corner of the globe, but consumed by her sorrow,
Trini takes an irrevocable decision.
Trini, how are you bearing up?
I'm quitting.
She's quitting?
Now, if you truly love me, please go!
You look great in black, Trini
What do you mean she's quitting?
I would have heard
Marga, do you miss your son?
Here, Marga
Little Damian may have lost his father, but he still has his granny.
Sad, sad, sad.
It is "remotely impossible" for me to take it in.
Oh, my heart!
Poor Trini, I know what it means to lose a bullfighter, ok?
CANCELLED
Trini never returned to the stage. She abandoned public life.
Her fans still await her. The big question is "For how long?"
Trini will be back
and the stages of Spain will resound once more.
Why are you watching that? I said never and I mean it!
What's he done this time?
Nothing. He had another fainting fit and they asked me to take him home.
What's wrong with my little treasure?
Good God! I told you he's not feeling well
GRACITA! Bring a cloth, please.
I don't remember.
He's lost his memory again. He mustn't be getting enough phosphorus.
You only remember what you want to
Off to bed without any pudding! Now!
I'm not stupid. What really happened?
He's been expelled. Whats he did left the teacher speechless.
There isn't a school that will take him... What can we do?
He misses his father, but he's still got his granny.
What's this? More bills
Gracita, the door!
The gentleman.
It's me, Trini.
Why do you keep saying I'll be back on TV?
Didn't I make myself clear?
More bills, repossession order... A repossession order?!
Are you sure, Trini?
We're not making enough out of my TV appearances
And it's you the people want.
Don't hassle me. I've got quite enough with Damian.
I know... He's sick.
Sick? Sick and expelled!
Just wait till the papers find out. More dirt. Look!
SPOILT BRAT OR DELINQUENT?
Does it seem nice to you?
DAMIAN, PRANKS OR CRIME?
DAMIAN. EVIL IN WAITING.
I know, they're taking advantage of your grief.
But why not milk it?
No way. I am not going on television. What for? To tell them my problems?
You can tell them!
What about a state school?
A state school?
The son of Spain's greatest matador?
I'd rather prostitute myself.
How about a private teacher?
How am I going to pay for it?
Did I tell you about Japan? It would just be a gala event
Don't you get it?
Anyone would think I was talking Chinese
At least we're still together.
What does that guy want?
Nothing's been proved... It's the boys who are doing all the provoking.
Even I've been provoked.
Just the other day, an altarboy looked at me lasciviously,
He desired me anxiously
but I'm strong...
I'm a righteous man, I don't give in to those little catamites.
They are like provoking libidinous Ephebus
With those glances and that bubble butt, Do you know what I mean?
Sure, right, sure
No, no, no, no. We're not sending any more food to those negro children.
They can't be that hungry.
Just look at the pictures! Those big bloated stomachs!
They should stop snacking between meals!
Don't get me wrong, Madam Minister, I'm no sexist,
but isn't there a man I could talk to about this?
Your mother left us the land; if you didn't agree
you should have told her when she was still alive
Now leave me in peace, I'm busy.
Come in, my friend.
Fantastic, you've outdone yourself this time.
Are you mad? You've burned the Cross of Antioch!
What? That? It's probably got woodworm.
Fire purifies.
By the way, your next mission.
Peru? You promised me this would be the last.
Just one more. At most two.
Sorry Excellency, but my parish needs me. And so does my mother
Your mother? Our only mother is the Holy Mother Church!
And she needs you too!
Do you really think it's good for the Church's greatest relics
to be in third-world countries, in the hands of a crowd of pagans?
I had planned to devote my time to my parish
and to being with my mother.
You'll devote your time to whatever I say. Don't forget who your superior is.
Ah! Such beauty! You've done it again!
Alright,
go and see you mother, but don't get too cosy. I'll be needing you again soon.
Where can I find Herminia?
You're too late. Herminia is dead.
She tried calling you from her deathbed, but you were obviously too busy.
Poor Herminia.
Some heartless person upset her... And her heart...
Did you know her?
Are you alright?
NOOOOOOOOO!
NOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOO!
Look at him! Two ears and a tail!
A chip off the old block!
Grandmother, is it time yet?
Yes.
Come on, Trini, it's on now.
Good evening and welcome to another edition of your favourite programme.
Today, on the HENHOUSE, we'll be talking to Trini's agent, Manolo..
Where are you going? Don't you want to hear what they say?
Lies, all lies.
Come on Damian. Sit and watch with your granny.
When will I be on television?
Oh, you clever little boy!
We've got plenty of questions about Trini.
Karmele, shoot.
I hear from my sources who say she's completely broke.
And there are all the unpaid bills from the Gregorio museum.
I mean... a marble mausoleum and gold-plated statues 7 metres high!
You'd think he was a Pharaoh!
Good evening. Thank you for your concern.
Trini is a great artist...
Yes, but is she bankrupt?
That is personal information and I'm not going to answer that kind of...
AUDIENCEMETER
But you came here for the cash and you have to answer all our questions.
If Trini doesn't want to show her face
And a very deteriorated face it is too.
Trini is a fighter. She's bringing up her son on her own.
GO TOUGH!
The woman is a saint. Do you hear me?
I know what it's like.
And doesn't she need a little help?
What are you insinuating?
Is she on drugs?
AUDIENCEMETER
Even the kid looks like he's on something! Look at that face.
Please, accusing an 8-year old child of taking drugs...
That's right! If either of those two talk about my daughter... Sorry,
I would KILL for my daughter!
Calm down
Calm down and take a Tranquilium, eh Trini?
AUDIENCEMETER
What we want to know is whether Gregorio
was cheating on Trini.
And not with a woman, precisely.
Well he's hardly going to do it with a dog, is he?
Just a moment, please. Silence.
We have a call coming through.
Who am I speaking to?
I want to talk to the television.
Yes, madam, that's me.
Are you the fucking faggot who's on my television?
Please, there are children watching.
APPLAUSE
Wash your mouth out with soap before you insult my Gregorio.
Where's that sow who said my Gregorio was unfaithful?
Here.
I should gouge out your eyes, you grotesque... inverted, dyke...
No shame.
What a family!
What a nerve.
And they say I'm bad
swine.
And as for you, you stuck-up lump of...
Alright, alright... Phew!
You must excuse her. She's getting on and she's still very upset over the death of her son
Speaking of children, is the boy on drugs? Is he mad? Or what?
To be honest, with that face he can't be very normal.
Children again.
I'm sorry, but once again I need to ask you not to bring minors into this.
Excuse me, but this isn't what I came here for.
Sure, c'mon!
Go on, pick up your cheque and start paying some bills.
Hello... Can you hear me?
They say if you breed crows, they'll peck out your eyes.
Trini, Trini... did you hear this? This is too much!
Riffraff, blackguards, scoundrels... Rogues, cheats,
villains, reprobates, pimps, shower of shit-stirrers.
Let's talk about Trini. Did she stop dancing because of her drug habit?
It's not the same. That woman...
We're just doing our job
Oh!
Shit!
That's what you get with live broadcasts. Just as well it didn't hit anyone.
Watch out!
Careful!
That's gross!
Please!
Breed crows...
AUDIENCEMETER
APPLAUSE
Fetch a doctor!
This isn't the first time it's happened, is it?
The same thing happened the day you lost your Daddy.
A high temperature and you passed out.
Growing pains. But just to be sure, we'll take an analysis.
There doesn't appear to be anything wrong. But given his attitude and those drawings
it might be no harm to consult a professional.
A psychologist
He's a good friend of mine. He's treated similar cases.
Sounds like an excellent idea
My grandson is not mad! It must be the Evil Eye or witchcraft.
Please... This is the 21st century. Think your grandson is possessed?
Right!
Trini, let's call the psychologist.
He's not mad. You'll be sorry.
BISHOP
Yes?
It's all sorted. Your flight for Peru leaves tomorrow at 6 am.
You have all day to get packed.
Forgive me father, my mother is dead.
Ah! So sorry... But look on the bright side, one less burden.
She's with God now, she doesn't need you.
My mother didn't want to be with God, she only wanted to be with me.
I may have let my mother down but I'm not going to let my parish down too.
Your parish? They're a crowd of drunks. You're wasting your time.
They're my flock and
Those souls are lost already!
If you're looking for whores and junkies, Peru is full of them.
Your flight leaves at six. Be there
Your ashes, thank you
Now mother, nothing will get between us.
He's a good boy really, but he lost his father at such an early age
Damian, this is Jorge
He wants to talk to you.
Leave us alone, mummy
Did you do these? They're really cool.
I have some drawings too
What do you see?
Think this is going to work?
Of course, he's a professional.
A dog... dead
My mother-in-law... Dead
My wife... Dead
My daughter... Dead
Blood... lots of blood
Excellent, I don't think we'll need any more sessions. You can go home now
I will go home
I'm sorry, it must have been my fault.
Ah! Mr Gadea, I have your wife's order ready... Mr Gadea?
Mr Gadea?
Strange, he's always so friendly
Grill for one minute, and it's ready.
I'm home!
Come out, come out, wherever you are!
You're frightening me, darling
But why?
HOME SWEET HOME
Civil Guard Station. Hello
It's my son-in-law
Guess who?
Don't try getting away!
Hey, Daddy, what is it?
Want a milk-shake?
A shake?
Civil Guard here. Are you alright, ma'am? Say something
Freeze! Don't move!
HE'S GOING TO GET US!
Call a doctor! Get an ambulance!
Better to get a coroner
Ma'am!!!
More cutbacks, Father?
CLOSED BY ORDER OF THE BISHOP
What does this mean?
What's wrong, can't you read? I warned you.
And what will become of my flock?
Your flock? You owe allegiance to ME.
You swine, give me back my parish.
Have you gone mad? Let me go or I'll have you expelled from the church!
You're not going to expel me. I quit.
Come back here LENIN!!! What are you doing? I am your superior
Turn your back on me and you turn your back on God.
This is defiance!!!
This is too much.
Marga, we've nothing to lose.
Acupuncture is an infallible centulies-old method which will bling peace to your son.
No son, don't touch... I said don't touch
We'll have to go and see the gypsy.
Please
She's the only one who can help us.
How can you believe in all that?
You'll be sorry, and it'll be too late.
Remember the third chakra is there to help you...
every night on this channel. Bless you.
New record audiences for... The Henhouse... following
the massacre that attracted over...
That is where you'll find the evil of the world.
You were right, Mother
It's all a great big lie! No God, no Church, nothing...
Another drink, Mother?
Barman, same again.
That's the last, Father, it's getting late.
I'm not a father
but I want to be.
You know?
My father said priests were all money-grubbing fascists,
and Jesus was he right
I never knew him. He died in the war... He was a communist.
Oh Mother, I could have a son, just like you wanted,
I could be a real man!
Priest
What do you think?
Sounds great, Father. Now why don't you pay up?
I've no money.
We give credit tomorrow, NOT TODAY
Pay up or down I come!
Sorry, Mother, I think this is your round.
Don't come round here again
Have some respect, my mother is en elderly lady.
Anyway, mother, there were no women there. But we'll find some.
Hey bull, you lookin' at me?
'Cause there ain't anyone else around. You starting with me?
Hey? Hey?
Daddy, Daddy.
What's up, son?
The kite.
Get it caught, did you? Daddy will get it.
Here, Daddy.
Thanks, son.
Mummy...
Don't worry, honey!
Mummy... Mummy...
Mummy...
Is that you, Damian?
Mummy... Mummy... tell him to stop
Darling...
What's the trouble?
We're going to the gypsy!
This is madness. You're mad, it's one thing for your mother-in-law to say it, but you?
The whole room was moving around
You must have imagined it... all those pills aren't good for you.
I saw it too, and I'm not on pills.
I know, but you're getting on...
The older the wiser.
Look, Manolo, if you didn't want to come, you should have stayed back with Gracita
looking after Damian. But now you're here, please just keep quiet.
Is it here?
What a desolate place.
SPIRITUALISM
TOMATOES, 1 EURO
I was expecting you.
Yeah, sure.
It's about your son, isn't it?
Come in.
How many things!
Look! Saints, skulls...
Oh, the cat! It's beautiful
I always wanted one of those cats
There go our last savings.
We need to open a door between the worlds.
And this book is the key.
Let's all hold hands
Don't break the circle under any circumstances.
Asereje, ja deje
dejeven tu de jeven sey yu nowa…
majadey an de güidi di pi…
Klatu, berata, nickto
Son, you've lost weight. Are you eating properly?
Our son is possessed. Only an exorcism can save him.
Father LENIN, he can vanquish the Devil.
This is too much. What a con…
Fools!!!
Oh, my god! How dare you?
- Let's see... Where's the projector? - You don't know what you've done
- And the wires? You can't fool me… - I said don't break the circle!
It's here! It's the CTHULHU!
What is that?
Oh God, it's here! It's here!
Lenin, find Lenin
¡Gregorio!
¡Trini!
The book… you must… close… the book.
Don't go, Gregorio!
Get back, critter!
You must...
Trini, close the book!
Ms. Marga, let's close the book!
Manolo! What did you do?
Did the tentacles attack you?
Those aren't real tentacles, it's all a scam, Trini.
Come back in 30 minutes and she'll be tricking someone else
with her little lights.
I know what I saw. The question is:
Who the hell is Father LENIN?
Come on, Mother... Which one do you like?
I know… None of them are good enough for me.
Excuse me, Miss, how much would it cost for…
carnal knowledge?
Just for you, Father… 60
You see, I don't have much… and I don't seek the pleasures of the flesh.
What I want is a son.
Listen, priest, that's the price and you can forget about any kids.
Yes but my mother, who's right here…
Torbe, here's another one with no money… What a night!
Hey! When are we going to make a son?
Don't come round here without the cash!!!
Is that how you make children?
Warm beer.
More beer!
Gracita! Gracita!
You called?
Come on, you bitch, you're mine now!
Does that make you horny, you dirty whore?
But, Damian?
Do you know what he did, your cunting son?
But Gracita
Gracita, please...
I can take not being paid...
but this is too much.
I'm a decent girl! I'm going back home!
He's just a child, please…
That... that is not a child.
But, Gracita…
Goodbye!
Well, it looks like he's recovering!
No way.
You know, cotton doesn't...
Aha! My loyal Igor!
Of course, my friend, with my mystical powers I can find
anyone on this star chart
It's my husband, I have his pasty all cooked and he's not home yet.
Will he back for dinner?
Sure, the cards speak clearly, Russian daughter, and this and the other.
Your husband isn't far away;
right now he's closing a deal in a club.
What are you saying?
He'll be back.
He'll be hungry, but he'll be back.
Trini, quick! I have it!
We have another call. What can I do for you my friend?
I'm looking for someone too. It's…
No, don't tell me, I'm starting to see them clearly,
the cards... the cards speak to me…
Bantu father, the sickle… the hammer…
Father LENIN?
The moon, the bridge… this is all very confusing.
He appears to be under a bridge… I don't know, I can't tell you any more.
Something is preventing me from seeing clearly. Oh-oh,
Oh dear, oh dear!
I don't like the look of this, my friend.
Let's just leave it there. Good luck in your quest.
Next call, Genaro.
What are you doing watching that?
Father Lenin!!!
He said beneath a bridge and the moon…
What was he talking about?
I can't believe it.
Did you really take him seriously?
Are you going to look under every bridge?
That's right!
Oh my God!
Look Marga, there...
At last! You don't know how many bridges we've looked under to find you.
Jesus! It looks like that dancer…
Father, father, I need you, it's my son. Nobody knows what's wrong with him.
I'm not a priest any more, ma'am!
What about this one, Ma? What do you think?
Please father, he's in a bad way. He has the devil in him.
The devil doesn't exist and neither does God.
It's all a big tall tale to get money out of people.
Want an exorcism? Ask the bishop!
Obviously you don't have any children of your own.
You don't know how a mother can suffer.
In case you change your mind.
Come on, Trini, we were wrong.
To the barricades, to the barricades… to the barri…
So LENIN... I knew it…
All that time spent with drunks and vagabonds… It's contagious.
Couldn't you do an exorcism for our boy?
That's not so easy.
First the church has to be sure the subject is really possessed.
It takes a long time and a lot of red tape.
But it's really urgent, your Excellency. The boy's in a bad way.
Everything has its price.
We haven't got a penny left.
Help us, Mr. Bishop. You're my only hope.
You married us and you're a friend of the family.
Come on now… let's keep friendship and money separate...
But, that's your wedding ring.
I seem to remember there were two of them.
That's Gregorio's.
That's better, but…
It's all I have left.
When did you say you wanted this exorcism done?
Jesus! The Virgin Mary!
LENIN, darling…
It's me, your mother.
But you're dead…
Yes, but death is just the beginning.
Mother, you were right, priests are money-grubbing…
The church is one thing and faith is another. There are many out there who need you.
Mother, I don't know what to do…
Just follow the signs. Here, this will help you.
But it was destroyed. I saw it burning up…
Now I understand... I'm dreaming.
Just follow the signs.
MARIA TRINIDAD DE LA CRUZ. WIDOW
Damn it!
Do you really think all this is necessary?
Manolo, we're here!
But... that priest isn't Father Lenin!
I'm not a priest, I'm a bishop!
USE IN CASE OF EMERGENCY
Time to get tough
So, where's the possessed one?
It's just a head cold.
Possession is manifested in other symptoms, such as seismic movements,
power failures,
ghostly shrieks...
and there's nothing of that here…
Excellency, what shall I do…?
Be strong... in the Lord and in power of His force
It's opening!
That's cute.
Oh God, no! Not the Castrato!
A bishop doing field work?
Oh!...Lord of Evil… Because... Is that you?
I'm on your side, even though I'm dressed like this…
I'm on your side… What can I give you?
Do you want the soul of the Castrato? Take it…
Just please leave mine…
Your soul? I have that already!
Now I want your body.
Get out of here! You creeps!
Die!
Help! Someone help me!
You have to help her!
I'm not going out there.
Save the boy.
Do it for me
and Gregorio
Critters! Get back! Don't chase me!
Help!
Leave me alone!
We are strong in the Lord…
… and in the power of His force!
Open up!
It's engaged…
Get out!
Get me out of here, Father!!!
Save me!
I knew you'd come.
Trini?
We have to call the civil guard. Or the army.
It's not a question of strength, but of faith.
Trini, shall we go to the police? Call out the SWAT?
Just be quiet, Manolo.
What about the child?
I put him in my room, I think he's asleep.
Asleep? No.
He's tired. We should start as soon as possible.
Let the party begin
I'll do it on my own. You wait here, it'll be for the best.
What an excellent day for an exorcism.
Leave the body of this servant of Christ.
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
It's the power of Christ that compels you.
The power of Our Lady of La Sierra compels you.
Leave this body that is not yours, leave this servant of the Lord.
It is God himself who commands you. God, the Holy Spirit, commands you.
Is that all you know how to do?
You don't impress me!!!
My only son, and he had to be a priest.
If your father were alive today… he would devour your soul!!
Enough!!!
It's the power of Christ that compels you. Free this creature from his captivity.
It is God himself who commands you.
You are going to return to hell, from whence you should never have left.
I didn't come here by chance. Someone invited me into the house.
What?
Someone well-versed in the dark arts, someone who wanted to make a pact
Someone very close to the family...
Someone stupid enough to exchange his soul.
And I accepted!
You shall have my soul,
but I shall have Trini.
Let it be
Manolo is great at doing deals.
What?
I did it for us, for our good.
No! Get away!
How could you?
But why the boy?
He's not just any child. The masses will follow him,
he'll be in every home, on every television, corrupting every soul…
… and the process has already begun.
You can't stop it
And you can't stop me sending you back to hell
… that bullfighter didn't suit you.
Who better for you than your agent...
just think about it.
I command you to return to hell from whence you came
by the power of the Sacred Cross of Antioch!
That wasn't the deal!
Trini doesn't love me! We're ruined!
And now I have to get you out of this!
Well Look who we have here, the drug-addict flamenco dancer.
Here,
this will help you.
You're no rival for me.
You have no weapons.
I have Duende.
If your weapon is your Duende,
then the fight will be
IN HELL.
That's nothing. You can still go much further.
Viva Trini!
Mummy
My boy…
All's well that ends well.
Please Trini... forgive me… I did it for our good.
Forgive you?? That won't save you.
There's still one soul here that belongs to me.
God's in his heaven and all's right with the world.
Well said!
Yes!